Reframed: The Series of Hope & Bravery

My big exciting news that I mentioned in yesterday’s post has to do with my Reframed photo series (found here).

While I can’t say what the news is specifically (yet), I will tell you that the series is expanding! I have around 20 new models- many strangers- who have agreed to share the most vulnerable parts of themselves with me and my camera. It has been so inspiring.

I’m meeting so many people who have been brave enough to share their story with me; I can’t wait to share them with all of you. This has been an incredibly moving process, and I can’t believe that my small project may make such a large impact on others.

I want to thank those who have, and who will, participate in this project with me. I applaud your bravery for coming forward and making a difference in the world. This series is doing huge things when it comes to breaking down the stigma of mental health, and I am so happy you are a part of it.

ANNOUNCEMENTS & EXPOSURES!

Hello beautiful people!

Today was a very big day for me! A lot of people saw I made multiple Instagram Live videos to share some exciting announcements that I’ve got for y’all! I figured folks who don’t have Instagram would want to hear the news, too, so here you go!

First of all, drumroll…

I’m starting a podcast!

Yes, you read that correctly! I’m putting myself out there and am starting a podcast that will also be titled Putting Down the Rope. I plan on branching off of this blog and diving more into mental health and its relationship to art. I will be interviewing guests, accepting stories from folks who would prefer to remain anonymous (and I will read the stories on the podcast), and featuring music/poetry/writing/art in any auditory medium (and will even link to visual art in the description of the podcast).

If you would like to be involved, PLEASE send me an email at PuttingDownTheRope@gmail.com. I will always be available to chat, bounce ideas around, and hear your story. This podcast is about you as much as it is about me.

Now, second of all…

I am raising money to fund my new project that merges mental health awareness with art! You can see the inspiration for my project here.

Basically, I want to show others that art can be used as a coping skill for things like self harm, poor body image, recovery from eating disorders or addictions, and beyond. The concept is that my subjects paint their bodies on parts of themselves they find the most vulnerable, or parts of themselves they struggle with. For me, it was self-harm. I knew using paint would be a more effective skill than actually self harming, and it actually had a better result in the long run.

My overall goal is to show others that they are seen, they are beautiful– because I think folks with mental illnesses often get overlooked or don’t think they’re special or beautiful– and above all, they are not alone. 

The problem is, I currently don’t have the key ingredient to this project: a camera!

So, I started a GoFundMe! My anxiety was very much telling me not to publish that, but here it is. I need help to make this dream a reality. I plan on buying a super cheap DSLR and the lens my friend recommended for portraits. I believe wholeheartedly in this project, and I think it will take off.

I would so appreciate any donation you can give. You can find the link at https://www.gofundme.com/cameraphoto-series.

Thirdly…

I made today’s Instagram live videos an added exposure and I played a song I recorded on live video. Un-flippin’-real.

Those who know me are very aware that I hate singing in public, or in front of anyone, really. Yet, today, I did the thing I have been most terrified of for a many, many years now. And it feels awesome. Just had to share that with the blog. 🙂 #WarriorPrincess

Lastly…

I’ve had some major mental health setbacks lately. And here I am, coming back swinging. I am so excited about life and what life has to offer, and I want to inspire others to find that spark, that zest for life, too!

I’m telling you, when you put down that rope, the world opens up. I can’t wait to share all that will follow.

Endless love to all!

K

Being a Multipotentialite: The Intimidation Factor

Recently, I came across a TEDx Talk called “Why Some of us Don’t Have One True Calling.” In it, Emilie Wapnick discusses the notion that there are individuals out there who bounce from one interest to another, and why doing that is not necessarily a bad thing.

She calls them “multipotentialites,” aka people with many interests and creative pursuits. I fall under the multipotentialite category. In fact, I am specifically a “mixed-style multipotentialite,” meaning I fall more into the right-brain side, and am happiest when I have a few different projects on my plate, but I get overwhelmed when I have too much variety. Sometimes I go through periods where I am working on many different projects, and others where I am deeply invested in one single thing.

I enjoy being a multipotentialite, even though some people don’t fully understand it. Some think I’m just being indecisive, or that I’m impressionable. Emilie taught me that being a multipod actually means I have superpowers that others don’t have. Some of those include the ability to wear many hats, fast skill acquisition, and idea synthesis. My love of many different things has provided me with an exploratory mind; one that I have used to my advantage when applying for jobs or getting projects done at work.

Now, I get to the tough part. There are many things that interest me, and there are things that I want to learn how to do, such as playing the bass, writing poetry, or doing portrait photography. I also am an activist who wants to get involved (usually in some creative way) in many different issues; mental health awareness, anti-rape and sexual assault advocacy, domestic violence prevention, ending human trafficking, eating disorder education, and more.

The reason all of these things is so tough to have rolling around in my head, is because my social anxiety tells me that I shouldn’t try new things because I won’t be good at them and I’ll just embarrass myself. I get intimidated because there are always people who will be better at playing the bass, have more poetry books published, know more about the efforts to end human trafficking, etc. etc. and I wonder why I should try if I’m only going to make a fool of myself?

My anxiety challenges the multipod in me. I have the desire to explore so much of what the world has to offer, and yet I feel hindered in doing so.

My depression also limits me as a multipotentialite. I have a very difficult time focusing, my memory is not very good, and it’s hard for me to stay motivated on the projects that excite me. And, of course, depression’s number one symptom is the lack of enjoyment in things you once enjoyed. So, when I have a number of projects that I had started that suddenly become uninteresting to me, it drags my motivation down further.

I hesitated writing this for a long time. I didn’t want to out myself as an unproductive multipotentialite. But I wouldn’t be staying true to the blog if I didn’t write about my experience with my mental health and how it affects me day-to-day.

I am still exploring how to fight this depression and anxiety, through various therapy modalities and medications. My meds were helping for a time, but now I’m back in the funk I have been in all my life. Unmotivated, unwilling, hopeless.

However, I am not completely without hope! I have been exploring Emilie’s website, Puttylike, and I’m seeing a new psychiatrist soon who will hopefully get me on meds that will make me feel like more of a functioning human. I want to be the full-blown multipotentialite that I know is lying dormant inside of me. I want to be the most productive bass-playing, photograph-taking, poetic activist that ever was! I know I can get there. I just can’t allow myself to get discouraged by the journey my anxiety and depression take me on every once in a while.

Allowing Failure

“You become a writer by writing, there is no other way. So, do it. Do it more. Do it better. Fail. Fail better.” -Margaret Atwood

I haven’t been blogging for a while because I’m working on a larger project in my free time. It’s time I put myself out there and allow myself to fail.

This is the largest project I’ve ever worked on and it’s pretty daunting and hugely exhilarating. I hope to share it with you eventually.

As always, thanks for reading.

-K