putting down the rope

there’s so much i want to say
but nothing i’m brave enough
to mutter out loud
in my head i beg you
to hear me
when will you realize
that this isn’t me
i don’t act this way
writing poems and
remembering you at
inconvenient times
you’ve flooded me
every cell knows
that i’m in love
such an unfamiliar concept
i don’t know how to express
what i’m feeling
when i don’t think i
understand it myself
how did i contort myself
into this creature
how did i convince myself
i needed you
how did i allow myself
to fall so freely
without seeing what
lies at the bottom
of this cavernous chamber
in my heart