there is a beautiful tall tree in the middle of the forest
the tree’s limbs are long and nimble
yet strong enough for birds to land and nest on
the tree top kisses the sun and has the perfect view
of the forest floor and its surroundings
humans gather underneath and admire it’s slender frame
against the blue sky above

one day a storm sweeps in and knocks the tree to the ground
it is now short and it’s width is more noticeable
bare of branches and leaves

how does the tree reach back up and kiss the sun
how does it encourage birds to land on it
or remember what the view looked like
before the memories fade away into the clouds

 

-body image

 

 

the hardest part about being in treatment
is loving your fellow patients with every
fiber of your being

yet not showing yourself the same love

i never understood
why me
i am nothing
a leaf on the stem
of a dandelion
nothing special
looked over
stepped on
why pick me
and call me
a sunflower

my body was abandoned by the train tracks
hair growing like weeds across every patch of earth
breasts shrinking like dried fruit fallen from the trees
weak from the sun’s unrelenting rays
who will come back for it
when will the wind be enough to
fill it with life again
to teach it to love itself as simply as
a train puffs out smoke

they pass by
like ships on the horizon
squiggled into the sea
hazy through the heat
far enough away
to see their shape
but nothing more
no clarity
until they sail away
out of sight
out of mind
will they return
to this spot
i will never know

–memories

in my black hole
there is no light
to see the memories
written on the wall
friends shout from above
voices with no face
Remember the time
But no matter how
much I squint
I can’t make out the words
I etched when there was light

my heart skips a beat when i see your name appear from the ether. and a ball drops from my lungs to my intestines. is that love? when your body feels things before your brain can comprehend them? or is it something else. something that possesses you and tells you. this is something special. don’t forget. don’t let go. your body is along for the ride. don’t leave it behind when you chase. what you desire. and still be sure to remember. your body soul and mind. are yours. you are the sole owner. don’t let the ball drop influence the way others take you in their hands. and explore you like a sculpture. you are not made of clay. you are made of gold.

the smell of your pages
is enough to fill me up
for weeks
i devour your words
as if i will never see more
each paragraph
a spiritual awakening
of my soul
and it is never
satiated
always needing more
more
rooting to the earth
spreading underneath
sidewalks and backyards
yet
flying free in the open air
among the birds
and the butterflies
each letter fills every inch
of this space we call
our universe
and i am honored
to be a part of it
even as the smallest tree
still growing its roots
and stretching its limbs

 

–poetry

How do I stop
writing Love Poems

 

I won’t

 

 

–fighting my perfectionism

How do I escape
the image of your face
or the words off your tongue
or the smell that lingers
after a hug

How do I prevent your name
from devastating me
when I hear it
A curse and a blessing
rolled into one

How do I stop loving you
when all I know
is to care for you
and make sure your life
is full of happiness

How do I separate
friend from lover
when each breath you take
fills me up in ways
I will never understand